umi-fashion: Character

Showing posts with label Character. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Guarding Ourselves and Wise Woman Linkup!

Watch constantly against those things

which are thought to be no temptations.

The most poisonous serpents are found

where the sweetest flowers grow.

Cleopatra was poisoned by an asp

that was brought to her in a basket of fair flowers.

-Charles Spurgeon

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I love the teaching and warnings of Puritans and preachers of old, they have great insight and wisdom, wouldn't you agree? Now onto our linkup!

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home is a place to be encouraged in your high and noble calling of role of wife and mother and daughter to the King and we want to encourage each and every single reader out there to build up strong Christian homes to the glory of God.

We would love for you to link up with us---share your posts on building up your home, homemaking, character, hospitality, femininity, family, tea, recipes, parenting, marriage, etc. we would love to have you share it with us!

If you link up here please use the image below or link back to let others know that you have linked up here so that they might join in the fun and be encouraged as well:

It's easy--just copy and paste the code in this box!

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Friday, September 14, 2012

Do You Have a Complaining Heart?

...A murmuring mouth is particularly grieving to God because it reveals discontent in God.

Psalm 106 says that one of the reasons God made the people of Israel “fall in the wilderness” was because they “murmured in their tents” (v. 25, 26). This has serious consequences...

1. It Models Satan

The angel Lucifer was the first grumbler. The onset of his fall from heaven was a result of dissatisfaction in his position and the desire to be like God. Writes Burroughs [author of The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment}:

“The Devil is the most discontented creature in the world, he is the proudest creature that is, and the most discontented creature, and the most dejected creature. Now, therefore, so much discontent as you have, so much of the spirit of Satan you have.”

2. It Is Contrary to Who You Are

You are a son and daughter with a heavenly Father who loves you, the deeply beloved bride of Christ, and actual members of Jesus’ body. When you bellyache and complain about every little thing, you mar your royal and treasured position.

“Are you the King’s son, the son, the daughter, of the King of Heaven, and yet so disquieted and troubled, and vexed at every little thing that happens? As if a King’s son were to cry out that he is undone for losing a toy; what an unworthy thing would this be! So do you: you cry out as if you were undone and yet are a King’s son, you who stand in such relation to God, as to a father, you dishonor your father in this; as if either he had not wisdom, or power, or mercy enough to provide for you.”

3. It Is the Opposite of Prayer

In prayer we come to God with requests and with praise and thankfulness in order to commune with him, but when we grumble, complain and murmur we essentially reverse prayer and rehearse all that we aren’t getting or all that God is not doing that we think he should be doing.

“By murmuring you undo your prayers, for it is exceedingly contrary to the prayer that you make to God. When you come to pray to God, you acknowledge his sovereignty over you, you come there to profess yourselves to be at God’s disposal.”

4. It Is Simply a Waste of Time

It accomplishes absolutely nothing. It accelerates personal stress and is downright annoying and draining to listen to.

“How many times do men and women, when they are discontented, let their thoughts run, and are musing and contriving, through their present discontentedness and let their discontented thoughts work in them for some hours together, and they spend their time in vain!”

5. It Swallows Up the Blessing of Mercy before It Arrives

If you covet a particular mercy of God (say, a big raise), when it finally comes, you won’t be thankful for it but will waste it. Coveting a blessing can turn the blessing into an idolatrous curse.

“Discontent and murmuring eats out the good and sweetness of a mercy before it comes. If God should give a mercy for the want of which we are discontented, yet the blessing of the mercy is, as it were, eaten out before we come to have it. … There are many things which you desire as your lives, and think that you would be happy if you had them, yet when they come you do not find such happiness in them, but they prove to be the greatest crosses and afflictions that you ever had, and on this ground, because your hearts were immoderately set upon them before you had them.”

6. It Worsens Sufferings and Afflictions

A murmuring attitude in the midst of affliction increases the affliction. Having a bad attitude in the midst of pleasant or mediocre circumstances poisons your heart and the hearts of others, and how much will this increase if this overwhelmingly negative spirit continues and truly difficult circumstances arrive.

“It in no way removes our afflictions, indeed, while they continue, they are a great deal the worse and heavier, for a discontented heart is a proud heart, and a proud heart will not pull down his sails when there comes a tempest and storm. If a sailor, when a tempest and storm comes, is perverse and refuses to pull down his sails, but is discontented with the storm, is his condition any better because he is discontented and will not pull down his sails? Will this help him?”

7. It Wears the Hopeless Costume of Pessimism

This simply means consistent pessimism is not in line with the sure hope and life-changing power of the gospel. There is an inherent optimism within the gospel that produces hope, love, joy, peace, etc. Positive commands like “rejoice in the Lord” and in everything “give thanks” and negative commands like “do not be anxious” and “do not grumble” all reveal that there is a gospel optimism about the Christian life that is to flavor the personality of a Christian.

By BJ Stockman drawing from The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Being Gracious with Our Speech

Times have changed from the old days when women were more careful and restrained with their speech. Today we are encouraged to vent and not think twice about what we say, not considering that it might hurt others. We have fallen from gracious speech to unrestrained speech unwittingly tearing down those in our path.

We need to be careful and examine out hearts before speaking. Is this building up? It this a legitimate concern? Am I accusing people without knowing the full story? Am I judging from a prideful heart?

Our words expose us for what we really are. They say when you falsely point a finger at someone, three more are pointing right back at you.

With the onset of internet access we have even more opportunity to "share" our thoughts and opinions in a split second, but it should never be done with out taking into consideration a few things.

1. Do I know the whole story?

2. Am I making assumptions of which I am unsure of?

3. Is this person having a bad day, week, or year? If they are, and I should give them the benefit of the doubt--can I extend grace?

4. Am I overly sensitive? Did I misunderstand something and fly off the handle or accuse too quickly? Am I prone to taking things wrong or handling criticism improperly?

5. Am I being a busy body putting my nose into other peoples business? I will also add, are we taking care of our own business at home?

6. Can I offer a kind word instead of a harsh one, even if I think the person deserves the latter? Is this an opportunity to build up?

7. Is what I am saying lining up with scripture? Am I honoring God with what I am saying?

Christian women should be known to have "the law of kindness of her tongue". That doesn't mean we are perfect, we will fail and are children will too (there is no one perfect except Christ), but we need to be careful that we are not jumping the gun in how we respond to others or circumstances in our life.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

“A quick-tempered man does foolish things” Proverbs 14:17

“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” Proverbs 29:22

"But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person." Matthew 15:18

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Proverbs 10:19

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Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Tests of Life

The tests of life are to make, not break us.

Trouble may demolish a man's business but build up his character.

The blow at the outward man may be the greatest blessing to the inner man.

If God, then, puts or permits anything hard in our lives, be sure that the real peril, the real trouble, is that we shall lose if we flinch or rebel.

-Maltbie Davenport Babcock

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Change of Character and Wise Woman Link-up!

It is strange that while praying,

we seldom ask for a change of character,

but always a change of circumstances.

-Anonymous

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home is a place to be encouraged in your high and noble calling of role of wife and mother and daughter to the King and we want to encourage each and every single reader out there to build up strong Christian homes to the glory of God.

If you link up here please use the image below or link back to let others know that you have linked up here so that they might join in the fun and be encouraged as well:

It's easy--just copy and paste the code in this box!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Discontentment: Living Above One's Means

There are many women who have brought their families much sorrow because they have wanted to live above their means. What does "living above one's means" really mean?

Well, it means they see people all around them who look as if they have more material goods, people who are living in bigger houses, people who are driving expensive cars, people who wear designer clothes that cost 50 times more than just decent, functional clothing. They watch these people and then they want to have what they want.

Did you know this is breaking of the Ten Commandments? It is breaking the commandment "Thou shalt not covet. " That is wanting what someone else has and it is wrong.

-Pearables, Personal Help for Girls: Nurturing a Sweet and Virtuous Spirit (Character Curriculum for Tomorrow's Mothers)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Discontentment Over Expectations

Yesterday I ran across some wise words from a post Michelle Duggar (19 Kids and Counting) shared just a few days ago. She emphasized how sometimes we can set such lofty goals and have great expectations that we can sin against others and live an angry life never being content with those around us and our circumstances. This is a very true reality for many women, they get caught up in the web of ungratefulness and discontentment and unwittingly tearing down their homes in the process. Michelle shares her insightful experience here:

Michelle Duggar on Having 19 Kids and Zero Expectations

Are you struggling with expectations?

I hope you enjoy the article!

Related Resources:

19 Kids and Counting DVD's (and instant stream)
Duggar Books
Duggar Tea

Note: Don't forget the FREE SHIPPING at Lilla Rose ends Sunday!

Monday, March 12, 2012

The Gentle Mother

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin,

you who are spiritual should restore him gently.

But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Galations 6:1

How many times have you read this verse and thought perhaps more of church discipline or some other scenario?

Have you ever thought about this verse regarding your children?

Think of a time when your child was not listening to you--perhaps you were patient at the beginning when you corrected them. Then they did it again and again and again and AGAIN....

Now you are not so patient any more. In fact, you might be exasperated.

WHY is this child NOT listening???

So Momma gets impatient, and angry or mad. Her blood pressure begins to boil and she begins to raise her voice....and you and I both know what can happen from here.

But what if we restored him/her gently---how different that would be from the world. What a testimony of God's outpouring grace and love!

Restoring gently...just meditate on that for a minute. How would you want to be reproofed?

What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?

1 Corinthian 4:21

Is your life characterized by a gentle spirit? Is it characterized by peace? This is how I want to be remembered by my children.

Yes, I will fail, and you will fail, but we will make this our goal. We will do our best to leave a godly legacy to our children even if we fall 1,000 times---a 1,000 times we will get up and try, TRY again.

Are you with me?

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We are linked up with The Modest Mom, Growing Home, and Far Above Rubies.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

What "Itching Ears" Want to Hear

For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.

2 Timothy 4:3

I have been noticing that there something going on in the Christian community. There is pressure to conform and to say what is politically acceptable and correct. There is much overdoing of certain teachings without a wise balance of the whole counsel of scripture. It seems that Christians are being swayed into the newest fads of doctrine and being led away to the fire of "what their itching ears want to hear".

Have we not been warned? Are we so easily swayed?

We are unable to rightly divide the word.

And because of that we are easily straying from truth.

Attacked are the innocent proclaimers of His truth. Bring up any solid doctrine and you might be labeled as "judgmental", "not having enough grace" or "too harsh".

We might be persuaded by the latest bestselling author, TV preacher, or a popular Christian actor. We might even be strongly influenced by certain Christian circles or simply just online through favorite bloggers (some we have never even met before nor examined their life or doctrine closely) or the comments (written by complete strangers) left at their posts.

If it sounds good and everyone is agreeing with it then we are on board---after all, they have to be right--don't they???

Wrong.

Think twice, ladies, anyone can act and speak as one in authority, but all things should be brought through the filter of God's word.

It is His word alone that stands-- not man's opinion.

Remember that.

And keep studying His Word so that you are able to discern what is true and what is false.

The more that you read the better you will be able to discern. If you still have trouble, get wise counsel from your pastor (not off Facebook, Twitter, or a blog).

And pray that the Lord would give you WISDOM

to recognize it

and

COURAGE

TO STAND IN OPPOSITION OF IT.

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You can also find this post over at Ladies Against Feminism.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Characteristics of Foolish Behavior

The Bible gives us a clear picture of foolish behavior and its consequences. It’s important for us to recognize these traits in others—and in ourselves. Dealing appropriately with people who behave foolishly requires prayer and wisdom. But remember, that foolish person is not in your life by accident, and you can by God’s grace respond to him or her in a Christ-like manner.

Characteristics of Foolish Behavior

1. Denying, disregarding, or rebelling against God.
The fool says in his heart “There is no God” (Psalm 14:1).

2. Slandering, lying, deceiving
The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool
(Proverbs 10:18).

3. Quick-Tempered A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Proverbs 12:16).

4. Acts Impetuously and Without Regard for Consequences
In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly. (Proverbs 13:16).
One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.
(Proverbs 14:16).

5. Talks endlessly, brags, spouts off frequently.
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion
(Proverbs 18:2).
The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near. (Proverbs 10:14).
A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. (Proverbs 18:7 ).

6. Refuses Advice, Accountability and/or Discipline
A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent
(Proverbs 15:5).
A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool
(Proverbs 17:10).

7. Handles Money Recklessly
Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom?
(Proverbs 17:16).
In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all
he has (Proverbs 21:20).

8. Quarrels frequently, picks fights, is contentious
Fools get into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating (Proverbs 18:6 NLT).
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control
(Proverbs 29:11).

9. Lazy, Lacks Focus and Ambition
Foolish people refuse to work and almost starve (Ecclesiastes 4:5).
A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool thinks only about having a good time now
(Ecclesiastes 7:4 ).
Fools are so exhausted by a little work that they have no strength for even the simplest tasks
(Ecclesiastes 10:15 ).

10. Never Learns from Past Experience
As a do returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly (Proverbs 26:11).
You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with
mortar and pestle (Proverbs 27:22 ).

How are we to respond to foolish behavior?

1. First and most importantly, we pray for them.

2. Second, watch your attitude and motivation toward these foolish people:

Principle #1 – Don’t be surprised if they refuse good advice.
Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice
(Proverbs 23:9 ).

Principle #2 – Don’t give them honor or luxury.
It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury – how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!
(Proverbs 19:10).
Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool (Proverbs 26:1).

Principle #3 – Don’t argue with foolish people.
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce
quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to
teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).

Principle #4 – Protect yourself from the resentment and anger caused by foolish people.
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is heavier than both
(Proverbs 27:3 ).

Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips (Proverbs 14:7).

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Linking up with:The Modest Mom,
Raising Arrows

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Being a Man Pleaser: What Are You Standing For?

If the enemy isn't shooting at you

you aren't in the battle.

Beware when all men speak well of you.

-HT to RC Sproul Jr.

This life is short.

We have one opportunity to stand for the Lord and His truths.

It might be okay for your neighbor to talk about being politically correct.

And the TV shows reassuring us that we need to accept things that God directly despises.

But we need to take a stand.

We can't be afraid of what others think.

We need to stop worrying about how we will be perceived.

True change occurs when we speak it.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"

-Romans 10:14

If you love your neighbor you will speak the truth (with kindness, patience and love).

I am so grateful for different ministries because I have learned so much from them. They did not hide God's truths, but they proclaimed it from the rooftops! Imagine had they had kept silent, then many lives would not have been changed--mine included.

I am thankful to the Lord for these sites and friends.
I am thankful that they did not keep silent.

I believe the world is a battle field and we need to take our positions.

Whose kingdom are YOU fighting for?

Remember friends...

We might get attacked, even by well-meaning Christians--by family or friends.

But we have already counted the cost
our lives paid for at the cross

and there is no turning back.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Spiritual Darkness and Blindness

Heavenly Father,

Above all things enlighten us with the eternal light that is our Lord Jesus Christ so that His mercy and knowledge may shine in us. Preserve the light of faith in our hearts, multiply it, and strengthen it.

Awaken you love in us, confirm our hope, and give us true humility so we may walk in the footsteps of Jesus.

Let a reverence for you be in all our deeds and before our eyes.

Drive all spiritual darkness and blindness from our hearts.

Protect us today and always from superstition and idolatry, from arrogance and blaspheming, from contempt of your Word, from disobedience and exasperation so that the sun will not set today on our anger.

Amen.

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up."

James 4:10

-Amish Prayers by Beverly Lewis

(The Kindle edition is free!)

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Monday, February 6, 2012

Are You Grumbling?

Are you grumbling?

Are you finding that joy is lacking in your life?

It is so easy to get distracted with ourselves, I've had it sneak up and rear it's ugly head with me and surely you have experienced it in your life too.

Nancy Leigh Demoss of Revive Our Hearts gives us a great reminder:

"Gratitude is the overflow of a humble heart, just as surely as an ungrateful, complaining spirit flows out of a proud heart. Proud people are wrapped up in themselves. If people or circumstances don’t please or suit them, they are prone to whine or become resentful.

A humble person thinks much of God and others and little of himself. He recognizes that anything he has is better than he deserves. He doesn’t feel anyone owes him anything. He doesn’t feel entitled to have more, or for life to be easy, or for everyone to love him and treat him well. He’s grateful for the least little kindness that’s extended to him, knowing it’s more than he deserves.

Make a list of anything you can recall “whining” about recently. How does your complaining manifest a spirit of pride, entitlement, and expectations?

Then take time to sit quietly before the Lord. Confess any pride that has shown itself in complaining, irritability, anger, or resentment, rather than giving of thanks. Humbly tell Him that you don’t deserve any of His favor, and give Him thanks for any specific recent blessings He brings to mind."

She shares this here:

Growing in Gratitude: A Thirty Day Challenge

I highly recommend it!

And since it is almost Valentine's day and I know you all are thinking about ways to strengthen and build up your marriages, I will also share this link:

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

You can find her encouraging books by her here.

Have a blessed day building up your sacred homes!

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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Truth About Discontentment

"If only we could have a bigger home, a bigger salary, an extra car, better appliances, obedient children--then I would be happy. It seems like everyone else has these things, why can't I?"

The young mother grumbles under her breath as she attempts to clean her tiny home. She has rehearsed this in her mind so many times and now she is entertaining these thoughts:

"If only my husband would work harder"

"If only I had married someone else"

"I can't stand being around the children"

"Why is my life so hard?"

Then she becomes depressed and discouraged, often crying herself to sleep at night.

Her husband comes home and they argue about money and she is quite irritable with children too.

But the truth is that this dear mama needs to guard her heart.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

And she needs to take captive her thoughts:

"and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

We have to check our discontentment---is it leading me to do good and change my life and behavior for the better or is it causing me to sin in my own life, against others and my God?

And when materialistic discontentment rears its ugly head in our lives, we also need to ask ourselves the hard questions..

Am I discontent with what the Lord has given me?

This is a hard truth to wrestle with, but at the end of the day, do I pass the test of thankfulness?

Because if ultimately everything I have is because of Him, I need to acknowledge that. Whether it is good or bad. I also need to acknowledge that if I am discontent and unhappy with what He has provided that day then that is sinning against Him. Is He and His grace not enough (2 Cor 12:9)? Am I not thankful with the food and shelter He provided (Matthew 6:25-34)?

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6

Sinful thoughts in us can lead us to tearing down our homes and wives, Satan as well would love to steal the joy from us and our flesh is weak. He would love for the root of bitterness to grow in our lives. We can become prime targets aiding his attempts to destroy the our homes--and know that he will try to sneak his way in their somewhere! We cannot and should not allow it.

So next time, dear ladies, when you find yourself in the seat of discontentment, ask yourself if you are thankful with what He provided that day.

Examine your hearts to get to the bottom of the motive of your thinking and ask the Lord to shed His light and truth on your situation.

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

On Slowing Down and Link-Up

Hurry is a pace of life

that is seldom conducive to godliness,

to relationships,

to anything

that ultimately matters to us.

-Nancy Leigh Demoss

Mothers, sometimes we need this ever important reminder
to remind us to slow down

and evaluate what is really important.

Now while you are thinking about that we would love for you to link up with us.

If you have a post you would like to share regarding the topic above or that has to do with building up your home, homemaking, character, hospitality, femininity, family, learning, how-to, etc., please share it with us!

When you link up here please use the image below to let others know that you have linked up here so that they might join in the fun and be encouraged as well:

(It's easy--just copy and paste the code in this box!)

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REMINDER:

Don't forget that today is the last day for our Blog Consultation Sale
on learning how to make money blogging in 2012
- it ends at midnight!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Pearls of Wisdom

"For every look at self

take ten looks at Christ."

-Robert Murray McCheyne

What a wise and timely reminder--we need to remember not to fix our sights on ourselves

or those around us

but keep our thoughts focused on Christ above.

Also, visit

Walking With Sarah who is sharing on how to

"Walk Alongside"

Great food for thought!

Have a blessed weekend!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Humble Home

Do you have a humble home?

Perhaps there are cracks in the wall, or the rooms needing painting. Maybe there are things that need repair or updating or just things that you wish you could change. You might even look around and wish that your home could be like the catalog or beautiful like your friend's home. This can foster and feed the growing appetite of discontent.

But I think what is important is that if we can remember that humble homes, humble vehicles, humble wardrobes, humble paychecks and humble circumstances are not to be looked at as a curse. We need to instead with a joyful heart look our circumstances, whatever they may be, as God' providence instead.

If we look at what we have with the mindset that this is what God himself has provided for us at this time we can be thankful. We know that He has ultimately provided all that we own and who are we to complain? We can even be joyful knowing that He has provided, even in the leanest of times, and we can rejoice in Him.

America is one of the richest countries in the world and yet we compare ourselves so quickly and become discontent. Third world countries have dirt for floors and use cardboard boxes for walls and somehow they still manage to come together in packs and enjoy the home while eating a simple meal from a plain pot over a fire.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."- Phillipians 4:12

Often times, He might allow us to live in humble circumstances to teach and refine us. Are we truly thankful? Are we complaining and grumbling? Do we have any growing to do in this area? Are we being creative with what we have? Will He use us to help others in the same circumstances one day? What is He teaching me through all this?

Whatever your circumstances, whether rich or poor, humble or not, remember to give thanks to the Lord for what He has given you. The very thing you might be cursing could truly be your neighbors prayer come true. You never know how bad someone else has it until you step away from your own cares and worries and fix your eyes on those around you. Let us begin the month of November, the season of thanksgiving, with truly giving thanks. Our homes can be a place where peace, love, and hope and the presence of Christ abounds and in that we are rich.

"...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. "

1 Thessalonians 5:18

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