umi-fashion: Loving our Husbands

Showing posts with label Loving our Husbands. Show all posts

Monday, July 2, 2012

Excellence is Not Measured by a To-Do List

I often believe my husband has not found an excellent wife. When he tells me I have been short with him lately, overreacting and snapping unnecessarily, I am discouraged at my lack of excellence. Impatience and disrespect have brought embarrassment to him on several occasions.

My task-oriented, performance-driven heart attempts to fix itself by making a list: An excellent wife cooks with organic food (not Velveeta), sews her own clothing (or at least irons her husbands shirts!), speaks only words dripping with grace (and not sarcasm) and reads her Bible for hours on end (okay, minutes?!).

The list brings more condemnation; concrete evidence that I cannot be an excellent wife on my own.

Read the rest HERE.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Blessings of Being at Home

Did you ever think about the blessings of being at home?

I was thinking about this last week--about how hard my husband works so I can do all the things that are so easy to take for granted on a daily basis. When our husbands are at work they are making the selfless sacrifice of being away from our children so that we can stay home and nurture and watch over them.

I get to love on my children all day, hug and kiss them, hear all their stories and cute things they say, fix their ouchies, feed them, watch them grow, witness their first steps, hear their first words, help keep them on right paths, and be available for many other milestones. He misses these important moments because he is away and has purposefully made that sacrifice as a loving father. For that I am grateful! I do not want to take these precious moments for granted. Wives, if you have been blessed to be able to stay at home and watch your children grow, remember to have a grateful heart. It is so easy to feel over burdened and ungrateful sometimes but we have truly been given a precious gift.

We need to appreciate our husbands more. I like what I read this morning here:

"We need women who set their hearts on making their homes pleasant, sunny, and fragrant for the husband. He who works from dawn till dusk for the little home and wife and babes, look forward to the warm welcome that awaits him when the long day is over; of the bright smile and the love words that will be sure to greet him when he crosses the threshold of his own words that will be sure to greet him when crosses the threshold of his own little Eden; of the cheerful fire in winter and the humble meals made so delicious by the love that prepares it and the sweet words that season it.

This rest, security, and peace will encourage the overflowing heart of the husband and father and brother to think and to say that there is no spot on earth so dear and so blessed as the little sanctuary built up and adorned and made full of song by a true woman's heart.

O' woman, if you only knew how much you have it in your ability with Christ's unfailing assistance, to make true men of your chosen husband and sons, as well as true women of the little girls who will someday fill your apron..."

-Daughters of Destiny

Wives, don't forget to hug your husbands today and thank him for the special gift he has given you! Bless him by creating a home that is welcoming to come home to and make your sphere of home a place that refreshes his heart and readies him for tomorrow's battles that lie ahead.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Two Headed Monster

Rhonda from Walking with Sarah has written a timely reminder entitled:

The Two Headed Monster

Enjoy!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Looking at Your Husband with New Eyes

I am typing this post out at a very special place. Me and my husband went on a romantic getaway last night to a charming bed and breakfast to celebrate Valentine's day!

I want to share some reflections of what I have learned from 20 years of marriage. I want you all to listen carefully:

Marriage is definitely something that needs works on. It is lovely and needs attention cultivating. Not just when you are newlyweds but especially as the years go by. It is so easy to let the worries and cares of life sweep in and distract you. It is easy to neglect your marriage and let it run on autopilot. But ladies, I encourage you to do something special and actually care for your marriage. Take the time to do the little things, because it is the little things that count. Don't ignore the fact that your marriage is not doing well if it is. Do something about it!

We need to look at our husbands with new eyes. Yes, he is the protector, provider and priest of our homes and we need to acknowledge that. We need to protect our hearts from any ungodly thinking or bitterness towards him that might creep in. We need to take ungodly thoughts captive and then take action in loving.

Special things you can do to let him know he is special:

make his favorite meal
surprise him with his favorite book/special present
give him a massage
write him a special note telling him how much you love him
plan a surprise outing/getaway to focus on just the two of you
throw him a party
pamper him when he gets home from work
honor him in front of him by telling the children (his parents, friends, or anyone else) what you love about him

There is so much more but pray and ask the Lord what your special "gift" could be--then really do it!

Above all things, remember to REALLY LOVE him with agape love (unconditional love):

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

-1 Corinthians 13

I am so blessed to have my husband. The Lord has turned our ashes into beauty and where else could I find a man that truly loves and understands me, loves to write and enjoys churchplanting as much as I do? Only God could have done that and for that I am grateful!

Now if you are looking for a place to getaway for Valentine's or just for fun, I recommend the Inn at Aberdeen where I am typing from right now. Here is a video of the place for you to enjoy:

(Note: please turn off the music at the bottom of the page!)

I smell breakfast ready so I'd better get going!

Have a blessed day!

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We are linked at Far Above Rubies
& Raising Mighty Arrows

Monday, February 6, 2012

Are You Grumbling?

Are you grumbling?

Are you finding that joy is lacking in your life?

It is so easy to get distracted with ourselves, I've had it sneak up and rear it's ugly head with me and surely you have experienced it in your life too.

Nancy Leigh Demoss of Revive Our Hearts gives us a great reminder:

"Gratitude is the overflow of a humble heart, just as surely as an ungrateful, complaining spirit flows out of a proud heart. Proud people are wrapped up in themselves. If people or circumstances don’t please or suit them, they are prone to whine or become resentful.

A humble person thinks much of God and others and little of himself. He recognizes that anything he has is better than he deserves. He doesn’t feel anyone owes him anything. He doesn’t feel entitled to have more, or for life to be easy, or for everyone to love him and treat him well. He’s grateful for the least little kindness that’s extended to him, knowing it’s more than he deserves.

Make a list of anything you can recall “whining” about recently. How does your complaining manifest a spirit of pride, entitlement, and expectations?

Then take time to sit quietly before the Lord. Confess any pride that has shown itself in complaining, irritability, anger, or resentment, rather than giving of thanks. Humbly tell Him that you don’t deserve any of His favor, and give Him thanks for any specific recent blessings He brings to mind."

She shares this here:

Growing in Gratitude: A Thirty Day Challenge

I highly recommend it!

And since it is almost Valentine's day and I know you all are thinking about ways to strengthen and build up your marriages, I will also share this link:

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

You can find her encouraging books by her here.

Have a blessed day building up your sacred homes!

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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Valentine's Day Ideas and Gifts

We can celebrate Valentine's day and make it special in our home by creating homemade treats with our family...

No matter how simple

as long as it comes from a heart of love it brings a special touch of warmth.

You can find these ideas and their links over at my Pinterest Board.

Now since the title of this post includes gifts too here are some possible ideas.

1. Spiritual Gifts for Dad--could include a new Bible, or other resources that can help him to disciple and lead the home. Check out this list.

2. The Courageous Set--I cannot emphasize how much I LOVED the message of this movie. Get it for him, your father, your father-in-law, your grandfather--any man you can find! The message is so powerful!

3. A Kindle Fire--I just got one yesterday and cannot even tell you how much I love it. Honestly, I can't believe how long I actually lived without it and am actually listening to it while I am typing this out. It is worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY!

4. Special Mr. and Mrs. mugs from the Love Collection at Dayspring. I shared about these popular mugs last year and they were a hit!

Beautifully inscribed with--

I found the one my heart loves.

-- Song of Solomon 3:4 NIV

You can get these HERE.

(Pssst--free shipping w/code SHIPPING25 for orders over $25!)

Be sure to make every day special for your family and I
hope you have fun planning out your Valentine's Day celebration!

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Wise Woman Builds Up Her Marriage and Link-up

February is here and if your head is still spinning and you are wondering where January went--do not fret!

I want you to think about February as a time to build up your marriage. Over time, marriages can weaken and need tending to and strengthening. Weeds can grow and the garden of marriage must be cultivated and cared for-- even more now than in the beginning.

Now instead of giving you a list of 100 things you can do to spark up your marriage, I am going to ask you to do something else instead.

For us Christian women, powerful change begins when we get on our knees. In prayer.

Busy lives and schedules prevent us from this vital part of our marriage, but we need to lay our marriages at the feet of Jesus, whether we are going through hard times or good.

Pray for:

1. A Strengthened Bond--a relationship that no one and no thing can permeate. Not sin, Satan, temptation or anything else!

2. For Love to Abound- Not the love that the world talks of and not the love we see advertised on romanticized in movies; but the love that we have such a hard time understand at times. "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...

3. Release: Giving to God your struggles and hardships and all the "little foxes" that tend to ruin the vine. Perhaps you have been irritated with you husband or angry with him. Perhaps he has not kept his promises or has let you down. Bring that to Jesus and forgive him. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do but you need to start somewhere---if you don't the root of bitterness can grow quickly like a poison.

4. For His Wisdom--Marriage can bring much happiness and along with that many trials. We need God's great wisdom to direct us through the choppy waters of life. We can't do this on our own, we are weak in our flesh and need His strength and refreshing to carry on.

5. For Your Husband--to be the godly man the Lord is calling him to be. For him to be obedient and courageous in his role ass He provides, protects and shepherds his family on a daily basis. That God would protect his heart and mind out in the workplace and that He would have an undivided devoted heart for the Lord.

6. For You as His wife--To fully "love" our husbands and sacrifice our wants and needs daily to put him first (after God). Husbands can get lost and neglected in the chaos of raising children, we need to take extra effort to nurture our marriages. We need to have obedient hearts to the Lord in respecting and submitting to our husbands--and I am not just talking about outward conformity but what is going on in the heart as well. We also need to guard our hearts, taking all thoughts captive to Jesus Christ and be sober- not unwittingly tearing down our homes.

Will you bring your marriage to feet of God Himself? I pray that you do!

Now please join me in our weekly link-up:

If you have a post you would like to share regarding the topic above or that has to do with building up your home, homemaking, character, hospitality, femininity, family, tea, organization, etc. we would love to have you share it with us! You are welcomed to post more than one post.

When you link up here please use the image below to let others know that you have linked up here so that they might join in the fun and be encouraged as well:

(It's easy--just copy and paste the code in this box!)

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Monday, January 16, 2012

"Men, Will You Vow to Lead?"

I love when godly men call on other Christian men to lead:

Pastor Mark Driscoll share his thoughts here and
also has a free downloadable poster--

Click here to get it.

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Friday, January 13, 2012

Let Her Beloved Be Content

She asks not how her behavior may please a stranger,

or how another’s judgment may approve her conduct;

let her beloved be content

and she is glad.

-Charles Spurgeon describing the excellent wife

I was perusing some archived posts and saw this gem of a quote
and thought we needed to pull it out again as a reminder

to put our best foot forward for our marriages in 2012.

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Wise Woman Hot Tip:

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Monday, January 9, 2012

Biblical Communication-Attacking the Problem

As a first generation Christian one of things I struggled with was learning how to communicate biblically, as sinners this is something we all struggle with since the flesh seems to have its own mind at times.

I am so grateful for this post that share Four Rules to-

Biblical Communication

for a truly great reminder of how to bring glory to God in every situation,

and hope you glean from it and enjoy it too!

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Saturday, November 19, 2011

She Does Him Good and Not Evil

Have you been struggling lately with respecting and encouraging your husband?

Maybe just need a little nudge, reminder, or some good old-fashioned practical help in just how to do it?

I encourage you to read through

The 30 Day Husband Challenge

Even if you don't do it--it is definitely a refreshing reminder!

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
so he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
all the days of her life."

Prov. 31:11-12

Book recommendation: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
(now also available in audio)

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Pssssst---I have a special surprise for all of you--I am also going to have the BIGGEST giveaway I have ever had on here on Monday! Stay tuned!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Have You Forgiven Him?

Forgiving our husbands is such an important topic.

Days can go by and the smallest offenses can seem to get bigger and bigger. We need to remember that our husbands need grace just as much as we do and we must be careful not hold him to some impossible standard that no one could live up to.

Please read this encouraging piece--

Have You Forgiven Him?

and be blessed!

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Monday, June 27, 2011

A Champion in Disguise

There's a champion in disguise among us.....it is likely this champion is not obvious to you. His deeds are courageous and life changing for those to whom he gives his life. He is disguised as a father. His humble cloak conceals his greatness, yet his deeds, in all likelihood, will form the character of the next generation. His deeds include wiping noses and changing diapers, teaching his boys to work and his girls to guard their dignity. His job description includes providing a wall of protection, to guard his children's hearts; yet he must lead them to greater challenges--which at times seems more than they can bear, with in mind, the day will come in which he will not be there. This unnoticed hero is doing the vital work of instilling virtue, honor, and courage deep within the hearts of those who look to him for guidance. Their minds recall his praise, his encouragement, his challenge, and his correction for decades.

He must be in disguise because if the strength of his influence captured the public eye, they might tempt him away from his duty to his children for less noble endeavors. Giving all his strength and crying out for more, he does the arduous, often overlooked task, of being a dad. He may not receive the praise of a speech well given, a corporation built, or wealth accumulated--he may not receive our notice for his great physique, golf course tan or the sports car in his garage--but he is still a champion.

He is a father.

Without him, our culture will fall.

---Herb Devine

We have seen in our nation that as God has been removed what the aftermath has been--the breaking down of society and families. It is further saddening to see fatherless homes. I believe that the role of fatherhood is integral to the family while culture would fallaciously mislead us to believe that dads are unnecessary and disposable. This special note was written from a friend, a godly dad whose desire was to encourage dads this past Father's day. My prayer is that as wives, we would also recognize the importance of godly fathers and truly respect and value them.

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Friday, June 3, 2011

Helping Your Husband Lead & Father's Day Resources

A godly woman who knows how important it is to build up her home knows how much more important is to help her husband to lead. Many women today struggle with helping their husband lead as many of us have been taught just the opposite. We were taught as we watched around us to stand in his way, to dominate the relationship and undermine all of his decision making. Women, this should not be so---we should determine in our hearts--how to best help our husbands leads we look to scripture.

We need to:

1. Be prayerful---before you act or speak be prayerful. A godly woman is always growing her prayer life, washing in prayer her family, herself and those around her. She knows how important it is to pray for her husband, his walk, his decision making, his character, his work, his mind, his purity, his protection, etc. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

2. Not fearful.--Many times as wives we act out and do so out of fear. We are afraid our husbands will make a wrong decision, we are afraid of the future, what others will think, etc. We need to recognize when that is happening a realize how we can make bad decisions from it. We need to follow the example of Sarah. (1 Peter 3)

3. Be silent--Before we speak we need to make sure we are not speaking out rashly or driven emotionally. Sometimes it helps to be silent for awhile (yes, I know this is hard for many of us!) and pray and think over the situation. (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

4. Communicate biblically-- After we pray, look to scripture/get wise counsel, we need to communicate biblically. We do this with speech that expresses love, with kindness, forgiveness, submissiveness, always hoping and trusting without anger, pride, not keeping a record of wrongs, etc. (Galations 5:22)

With Father's day around the corner, I also wanted to share some resources that I believe will further encourage your husband. Father's Day is a great time to give gifts that can equip men in their God given roles.

Family Man, Family Leader
on sale for $11

Biblical Fatherhood as the Key to a Thriving Family

What this country needs is a few good men — husbands and fathers who are willing to love and lead their households with manly resolve and godly vision. Family Man, Family Leader first presents the vision of biblical household leadership. Next, it addresses the many practical issues necessary for achieving victory as a man, from learning and acting upon God’s priorities, to decision-making as a father, to growing in oneness with your wife, to personal accountability before the Lord and victory over secret sins.

How to Disciple Your Family

A Plan for Generational Victory (Set of 10 DVD's )

Now on sale for $75

Many Christian families suffer today because they fail to capture the hearts of their children. Too often they fail to communicate vision, convictions, and wisdom to their sons and daughters. In the battle between pagan culture and the Christian family culture, paganism often wins. The sad response is that too many Christian parents simply give up. Others set their goals so low that their best strategy is simply to see their children ‘survive‘ a little bit longer, or to lose the battle for the generations as slowly as possible. Douglas W. Phillips and Geoffrey Botkin gear these valuable teachings at equipping parents with helpful discipleship tools for passing on a legacy of godly experiences and wisdom to their children that they can build on as part of a long-term vision for generational success.
Watch video clips here.

Building a Family That Will Stand- (Set of 7 CD's)

Blueprints for Biblical Fatherhood & Multigenerational Thinking

$30

God appears to be touching the hearts of a growing number of Christian fathers with a hunger to learn more about biblical manhood. This quiet revival is taking place in homes where teary-eyed fathers are standing before their wives and children, repenting for their lack of vision and leadership, and recommitting themselves to God’s priorities for men. With this revival comes the awareness that Christian men need to make dramatic changes in their lives; changes which reflect a biblical re-examination of the way our fallen culture approaches family, work, finances, education, citizenship, etc. The goal of these conference tapes is to encourage men to see “the big picture” of biblical manhood.
Listen to a sample here.

The Visionary Father's Role in Home Education-CD

$10

The Scriptures offer a powerful vision of what a father’s role is to be in discipling his children. Sadly, many men today are falling short in discharging their God-given duties as family shepherds. In this powerful message, Doug Phillips lays out seven critical components of a father’s role in home education. He is to be: 1) a vision communicator; 2) a Hebrew discipler; 3) a defender of the realm; 4) a household manager; 5) a discipline enforcer; 6) the family’s resident historian; 7) and the leader of family worship.
The Visionary Father’s Role in Home Education is a great primer for dads who want to faithfully lead their families with vision.
Listen to a sample here.

Give Me Your Heart, My Son

$30.00

The Very Best of the Vision Forum Father/Son Retreats

The father and son relationship is one of the defining relationships in the universe. In fact, before there was a universe, there was the eternal Father who loved the eternal Son. We should not be surprised, therefore, that Satan has reserved his most fiery darts to alienate Christian fathers from their sons. The best way to destroy a nation or to render the Church ineffective is to destroy the legacy of multi-generational faithfulness which God intends for covenant-keeping men and their progeny.

Includes 8 compact discs. Subjects Include:

Remembering a world when fathers roamed the earth
How to interview your father and build multigenerational legacies
Why and how adult men must learn to forgive, love, and respect their fathers
Becoming men of honor
Building a culture of virtuous boyhood
So Johnny wants to play with guns?
How to win the heart of a rebel
The true story of Braveheart
Developing the disciplines of manhood

Listen to a sample here.

Fathers and Daughters
Why Every Father is Leaving a Legacy
$10.00

Every father leaves a legacy for his daughter whether good or bad, whether by design or by default. Daughters watch carefully what dads prioritize as well as what they neglect, and then form their own ideals—including the kind of man they look for in a mate—in response to this. Dr. Voddie Baucham explains this powerful influence that fathers have on their girls as well as the destructiveness of male abdication. His charge: Dads must set aside selfish pursuits and lovingly lead their daughters.
Listen to a sample.

Have a blessed day encouraging your husband and being a helpmeet to him!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Valentine's Day is Around the Corner...

...have you gotten him anything yet?

Here's a great idea:

It has a nice Bible verse on the inside:

I found the one my heart loves.

Song of Solomon 3:4

and when he's done, this is what he gets to see each time---

what a lovely reminder!

Click here to view the entire

Mr. and Mrs. Love Collection

or

here for more ideas.

How do you like to celebrate Valentine's Day?

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Note: A reader just shared that you can get free shipping with a $25 purchase using shipping25 at checkout! Thanks, Jennifer!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Don't Be Robbed

Don't be robbed today of the simple joys of life...

Don't be robbed of your home---or angry with those in it, unhappy that things are not going your way or that your husband and children are not how you want them to be. Don't let Satan rob you of your happiness there, making you think that you don't have this or that. Don't compare yourself to others but be grateful for what you have and know they are a gift from the Almighty Himself.

Don't be robbed of your time---don't waste excessive hours with frivolous pursuits such as watching TV, being online, always being away from your home or other idleness that can spring up in a woman's life keeping her from truly caring for the very ones that you love. Guard your time carefully.

Don't be robbed by lies...the world will tell you that you are wasting your time, that you need to look outside God and your home for true happiness. They will put you on 'their' path and lead you down the wrong paths. Keep yourself immersed in truth at all costs.

Love your children.....

Their smiles, their laughter, their questions, their hugs, their innocence, their smell, their thoughts, their health, their presence, their everything. They are God's gift to you. Care for them and educate them and raise them up in His ways. Enjoy life and share it with them, they are learning about the world through your eyes. What an honor we have been given! You are making memories today---rejoice in your special moments!

Love your husband...

Remember that he is not perfect, he is not you and thinks differently than you do. He is God's gift to you. Love him in spite of his failings, love him wholeheartedly, extend to him the same measure of love, respect and forgiveness in the strength that has been given to you in Christ Jesus. Do something special for him today. A word of praise or encouragement, a massage, a gift, bake his favorite treat. Most men would die for their women, and we need to love them as our heroes (even when they might feel at their lowest). A noble wife rises up to the occasion to bless her husband with all her heart.

Care for your home...

Only a mother truly knows what is needed in the home. Perhaps the special meal, the socks that need darning, the gesture of love to cheer up a sad heart. Cleaning, decorating, planning, and reading to learn more about homemaking. Busy yourself with these things, and don't think that being home is boring!!!! There is so much to do and your are only limited by your own mind.

We have the blessed opportunity to start the day off as a clean white palette--new, fresh and clean, as we look forward to painting loveliness, creating order and putting our all into the our homes and our families.

Guard yourselves, dear wives and mamas,

from being robbed

and live your life serving

the Lord...

"I have come so that they may have life

and have it to the full."

John 10:10

Monday, January 24, 2011

Wise Planning for a New Week

I like to do my weekly planning for the week on Sunday night. Last night I was able to plan the entire week and even get some extra Bible reading time in which was the icing on the cake. I was thinking about how I used to plan when I was a younger wife, I would plan in many things that were unnecessary and by the end of the day I was exhausted. My husband would come home and I would have tears of frustration because I had too much on plate that day and he would wonder why. Well one look at my list and it was easy to see why!

Then I read a book about a wife who would try to structure her day around the Bible verse Titus 2:4-6. You know, love your husband, love your children, etc. She would get her planner out and ask God what he would have her to do that week and then write them in (ex: read her Bible daily), then she would think about what her husband would like her to do and she would write those things in before she got to anything else. Usually our husbands do not demand too much of us. They are happy with the simple things such as a cooked meal, clean clothes and children that are alive when they get home from work!

When I come to think of it, many godly women I know also do this. They put God first, and their husbands right after that, then they tend to their children's needs, homeschooling, etc. I think this is wise, because it is so easy to ignore our husbands and have the house and children dominate our time and day if we are not careful to make sure we are tending to our husbands needs first.

I also think that planning that way helps us to respect our husbands more. It is reserving a special place for him in our hearts to serve him, this way we also know we are actually DOING it. We can have good intentions, but actually never really do anything with those intentions. So many times we can start the week off running and never think twice about how we can really help our husbands. Then little things might not get done such as ironing his shirts, making his lunch or preparing (timing) his coffee for him before he runs out the door.

Think back with me, ladies. What has your husband been suggesting to you? What things do you notice that you are not doing for him but he has been quietly not saying anything about? Let us tend to our husbands needs for this is how we love our husbands. If he requests nothing but taking care of the children and schooling them, then do it well. If he asks you to help run his business, then make that a priority in your life before everything else you would like to do, knowing that you are serving the Lord wholeheartedly.

Because at the end of the day you want to know you did everything you could to be the best wife possible with your priorities in order! (Well done good and faithful servant....Matt 25:23)

For those of you who are already implementing some of this--

how do you try make your husband a priority?

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